My Top 10 Coaching Question Techniques

When we master the art of asking great questions, we help others develop the neural pathways of self-discovery. Jesus had three years to train His apostles to spread the Gospel. He didn’t have them memorize Bible passages or learn a step-by-step script. He spent three years training them by asking them questions…lots of questions. Here are my Top 10 Coaching Question Techniques.

In Him,

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My Top 10 Coaching Question Techniques

  1. Ask Open-Ended Questions (Who, What, Where, When, and How)

These encourage people to think and explain rather than just answer “yes” or “no.”

  • Don’t Ask: “Did you pray about this?”
  • Do Ask Narrow: “How have you been seeking God’s wisdom in this situation?”
  • Do Ask Broad: “What are your options”

 

  1. Avoid “Why” Questions

“Why” can make people feel defensive or judged.

  • Don’t Ask: “Why did you do that?”
  • Do Ask Narrow: “What led you to make that choice?”
  • Do Ask Broad: “What are your thoughts?”

 

  1. Use the “Five Ways” Technique

Helps uncover the inner dialogue we did use, can use, want to use.

  • People tell us the negative thought
  • We say, “That’s one way to look at it, yes”
  • We ask, “How would you feel about doing a brief coaching exercise?”
  • Share this will be a way to uncover at least four other ways to view this
  • Ask, “What a second way to look at this situation?”
  • When they answer say, “Yes, that’s a second way, it could be that.”
  • Ask, “What’s a third way?”
  • When they answer say, “Yes, that’s a third way, it could be that.”
  • Ask, “What’s a fourth way?”
  • By now they will start having some difficulty (most people)
  • Encourage them to think through it and take their time
  • When they answer say, “Yes, that’s a fourth way, it could be that.”
  • Now ask, “What is a fifth and final way of looking at this situation?”
  • They will likely not be able to find one
  • Ask, “How do you feel about me sharing a thought?”
  • When they approve, share our fifth way
  • Repeat all five ways out loud with them
  • Ask, “Which thought serves you best”

 

  1. Ask Questions That Encourage Self-Reflection

Encourages deeper self-awareness and personal responsibility.

  • “What would success look like for you in this situation?”
  • “How is God working here?”

 

  1. Pause After Asking a Question (No Question-Stacking)

People often want time to process deep questions but will want to find an answer quickly. Let there be silence – resist the urge to ask another question right away.

Stay with one question and if they struggle, let them know it’s okay to take more time.

 

  1. Use Hypothetical or Scenario-Based Questions

Helps people think through consequences and solutions.

  • “If time and money were no obstacle, what would you do?”
  • “If someone else were facing this situation, what advice would you give them?”
  • “If you had a time machine and could go back and do it different, what would you do different?”

 

  1. Mirror Back the Person’s Own Words to Form a Question

Shows active listening and helps them rethink their words.

  • Say, “I’m going to repeat back what I think you just said. Let me know if it is correct.”
  • When they confirm, ask a broad question as a follow-up
  • Example: “You said you’re feeling stuck. What is ‘stuck’?”

 

  1. Ask Scaling Question

Helps measure progress and clarify perspectives.

  • “On a scale of 1-10, how confident are you in this decision?
    • Based on the answer, add one or two then ask, “What would make this an 8?”
  • “What would say best describes where’re you’re at?”
    • Not-at-all, Somewhat, Very
    • Completely confused, Understand some, Crystal Clear
    • Unwilling, Not very, Totally willing

 

  1. Use “What Else?” Question or “Tell me more” to Dig Deeper

People rarely share their full thoughts at first.

  • “What else is can you say about this?”
  • “Tell me more”

 

  1. End with an Empowering Future-Focused Question

Leaves the person feeling in control and forward-thinking.

  • “What is one small step you can take this week to move forward?”